“Courage isn’t the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.” — Nelson Mandela
If you’re wondering how to overcome fear, then fear no longer, as we prepare to dive into the depths of this topic.
Overcoming fear is a struggle that most people experience. In fact, according to the National Institute of Mental Health, 19.1% of U.S. adults have some type of fear or phobia.
A lot of the time, being overcome with fear hits us at the worst moments, and can cause severe anxiety symptoms. We never expect them. So, trying to make them predictable can be a tool to your advantage that will help you lessen their impact.
In this article, I am going to talk about five efficient ways to do just that—overcome your fears by making them predictable.
Here are 5 tips on how to overcome fear:
1. Overcome fear by talking about it with someone
Do you have one person in your life who you can talk to about anything? It could be a loved one, a close friend, your psychologist, or maybe even your cat, Taquito.
Having someone to talk to is a crucial step to conquering your fears. But before you can overcome those fears, you must first understand the necessary steps to do it.
What are the steps to overcome fear? (RUFA)
- Realize that you have a fear (or a phobia).
- Understand why you have the fear.
- Familiarize yourself with the fear.
- Accept the fear, or abolish it.
The first step to overcome fear is to recognize that you have one. And one of the best ways to do this is to talk to someone about it. Pulling that fear out of the realm of the unknown might make you more acquainted to the idea of it, which could help you fear it less.
Why is that? Because we fear what we do not understand.
I recently read an inspiring article by the News&Observer. I’d like to share with you something that stuck with me:
“What we do not understand, we fear. What we fear, we judge as evil. What we judge as evil, we attempt to control. What we cannot control … we attack.” — Unknown Author.
It may seem like an odd concept: that we fear less what we understand. But is it really, odd? Sure, some fears are inevitable—like heights. But why is that?
Because if you fall, you can die. Then you have to keep asking, why?
Why am I afraid to die?
Are you afraid of not existing anymore? Leaving behind your loved ones? You could think of a million reasons why you fear death, to the point where you worry yourself into fear paralysis. This is basically where you become frozen in place due to shier terror.
Kind of like Snowball before bath time.
The thing is, you don’t actually fear the THING. You fear the result of the thing.
You have not come to terms with what that thing could do to you. And so, talking with someone could help you understand it more by comparing your experiences.
Fear is not something You are born with—it’s a feeling that actualizes because you enable it.
Try channeling your fear into a positive thought, an outcome that you can accept, like pursuing your childhood dreams which you never thought possible.
Sometimes when you talk with people about the fears THEY have, or maybe one that you share, they can help you see a new perspective.
Together, you can overcome fear from every angle, regardless of where it comes from. And there are many out there.
Here are some of the biggest phobia types and most common fears:
- Social phobias, like the fear of public speaking.
- Fear of missing out.
- The fear of clowns.
- Fear of the dark phobia.
- Arachnophobia — fear of spiders.
- Fear of height.
- Claustrophobia — fear of tight spaces.
- Fear of failure.
- Fear of the unknown.
- Fear of being forgotten.
What’s the takeaway?
There is at least one person out there who shares the same fear as you. You don’t have to feel alone and misunderstood. You’d be surprised by how your mindset can evolve simply by talking things out with another person.
2. How to overcome fear – don’t expect perfection
It’s okay to not overcome your fears completely. No person or system is perfect (well, except spheres). Not accepting that you can’t totally rid of your fears can lead to even more fear, like a snowball effect.
You’ll never completely eliminate that fight-or-flight feeling when you’re put into a panic situation.
In other words, there’s nothing you can do to rid of the fear that goes down your spine when a grizzly bear hovers over you, foam spewing from it mouth, and with eyes so cold that your heart skips in hesitation to your imminent death.
There’s nothing perfect about that situation. These kind of real-world terrors are called True Fears. And they are a necessary part of life, because if you didn’t have them, you wouldn’t survive very long.
On a lighter note, there is one near-perfect form of fear, or lack thereof: the perfection of our imperfect world. Kind of like the Universe, right? It’s so mysterious, fruitful, and chaotic; somehow being super organized. Yet, it gives us everything we have in such a perfect way.
The Universe is the saint of the nonbiological world.
The Universe says fear is a liar; Fear doesn’t exist. Fear is a figment of our imperfect imagination.
Our universe doesn’t experience fear, because it’s Perfect (with a capital P).
How perfect is it that we need water to live, and yet, our planet HAPPENS to be made up of 71% of the stuff? Is it a perfect coincidence? Or is it that we find perfection in the fact of it?—perfection in ourselves, and in the system that sustains us?
The idea here is that IF perfection does exist, then it’s natural (other than a sphere…because they don’t actually exist in nature). Anyway, you shouldn’t try to force perfection. You can’t banish your fears into some abyss.
You need to overcome your fears only enough that they stop negatively affecting your life.
You shouldn’t make assumptions that attempting to be perfect will solve all your problems.
What’s the takeaway?
If you’re wondering how to overcome your fears and doubts, be genuine to yourself, to the world, and take it easy. There is no quick process for ridding of most fears that people have. The process to overcome fear is gradual—it just takes time.
3. Conquer the fear by reflecting and writing about it
There is a difference between feeling fear, and knowing fear.
You can know fear, without feeling it. Feeling fear is becoming frightened, regardless of whether you understand what is causing it.
For instance, let’s say you’re afraid of the dark. You FEEL afraid when it’s dark, but you may not know exactly what about the dark it is you’re afraid of. It can be nearly impossible to understand why, unless you find a technique to unfold each layer of fear—like peeling an onion.
That’s why writing is such a great tool. It can really help you narrow down the fine details of what you’re trying to scrutinize.
And if you REALLY want to get good at writing and learn new techniques of story telling, you should start reading daily. Reading is essential if you want to be a good writer.
Writing could become the perfect environment for you and your fear to both exist—at ease, not disturbing one another. You become fear free.
While you write, your fear will exist only to give you information. And in this moment, you will see your fear as simply a bodiless entity—like a ghost. Your fear will have no substance to strike fear in you, because in this moment, it’s not real.
Writing is your gateway to view the empty vessel of your fears.
Think of writing as a form of unguided meditation. You and the things that frighten you will become partners, like an artistic dance, where your only purposes are to educate each other.
You will not only learn new things, but you will complete steps two and three of RUFA (the steps to overcome fear):
- Understand why you have the fear.
- Familiarize yourself with the fear.
It’s crucial to understand these details if you want to overcome fear that’s taking over your life. Not to mention, it’s a great way to practice honing your focus.
What’s the takeaway?
The more you know about your fears to overcome, the more powerful your plan of action will be to defeating them. This means you will be that much closer to coming to terms with the final step of RUFA—acceptance, or abolishment.
4. Taking your time means no worries
When you are overcoming something, whether it’s a phobia disorder or something totally irrelevant, it take times to see results. Nothing happens overnight.
It could be a month, a year, or even thirty years from now until you see the change you are looking for.
You never really know how much time you need, until the day you wake up and realize the fear is just a memory. A memory that gives you no feelings.
What is the cause of fear? How is it affected by time?
Sometimes fears come from our own anxieties. And so when you have an anxiety that is persisting due to a certain fear, it can exacerbate that fear.
One way to overcome your fear is to allow it to eventually be forgotten. But the issue is that, the longer your anxiety occurs in relation to that fear, the more your fear transforms into terror.
What is terror?
Terror is when fear occurs in high magnitude. It’s when your fear of something becomes a horror, one that may give you nightmares and strike your core to the point where it consumes your life.
To prevent this from happening, you’ve got to try and get your anxiety under control. Otherwise, as time goes on its magnitude will only increase.
The passage of time in relation to fear is kind of how it feels to have an old friend.
For instance, have you ever had a friend who you hung out with so much, that they basically consumed your mind? You couldn’t imagine life without them? Just like you can’t imagine life without your fear.
Then, one day, you realize you haven’t seen or talked to that friend in months, even years. Life separated you, naturally, and you became non-existent to each other.
This is essentially how fears dissolve in time.
Fear burns bright in your eyes, now. But later, you will look back at them as a memory, like an old flame—a flame you can see, but one which you can barely feel.
What’s the takeaway?
If you’re wondering how to overcome fear and anxiety that are being exacerbated by each other, you’ve got to first treat your anxiety. You can’t let the fear overcome you to the point where it controls your mind.
Once you control the anxiety and learn to accept the fear, then over time your negative feelings will eventually dissipate.
5. Face Your Fears
You should never run away from the things you are afraid of. This doesn’t mean you should seek them, but you should always face them.
Like standing up to a bully, you must prove your courage not only to the thing which you fear, but to yourself. And don’t let anything stand in your way.
Your fear will not block your path.
You must believe it; believe in yourself. Being confident and acting on this confidence will become a moment of positivity, and it will help push you forward in life. This is the kind of positivity you need to pursue your passions and create long-term happiness.
Always be aware of where you are heading in life, and don’t let anything stop you from getting there. This is one of the Smart Goals of Health outlined in smart goals.
Have faith in yourself, and in your journey to becoming aware and independent of your worries. If you can build your courage, then knowing how to overcome fear will be, well, the least of your fears.
What’s the takeaway?
As tempted as you may be to run from your fears, don’t do it. Try to find peace with it, co-exist with it, and let it be an opportunity of growth. You are strong. All you have to do is convince yourself of it and put your doubts aside.
Conclusion
In this guide, I have outlined what causes fear, how you can understand it, accept it, and come to terms with it. Some fears can’t be overcome, as they are biological mechanisms built into us for survival—like fearing for your life of an imminent threat.
However, the other fears are ones which you can overcome. You just have to find the courage necessary to fight the battle, work toward peace, and be patient. Make it a point to include this challenge in your new years resolutions every year.
Best of luck to you, my friends.
Here’s a quick recap of 5 tips on how to overcome fear:
- Talk with someone about it.
- Don’t expect perfection.
- Reflect and write about it.
- Take your time.
- Face your fears.
That’s all folks! Thanks for reading.
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