8 Powerful Tips on How to Get People to Like You

The nature of how to get people to like you has got to be one of the biggest mysteries out there. And although the answer may seem obvious:

“Just be likeable!”

It’s not always that easy. There will always be someone out there judging you; someone who your chemistry does not match with.

After all, as of 2021, there are 7.9 billion people in the world.

There isn’t a lot you can do if your chemistry doesn’t match, other than respect each other. You should be pleased to know, however, that there is a strategy to getting people to like you. It just takes practice—trial and error.

Here are 8 powerful tips on how to get people to like you:

1. How to be likeable 101: Talk Less

One of the most important self-development traits you should adopt is knowing when to talk, and how much. Give yourself time to allow full thoughts to form before you start talking, and then get your point across.

There is nothing worse than conversing with someone who is talking so much, that they literally speak right over you. Don’t be this person. Not only is it distracting to others, but it makes them feel as if what they have to say isn’t important.

You should always be in the habit of trying to make people feel invited in the conversation.

Talking Less makes you seem mysterious, which can get people to like you.

Being mysterious will make people wonder what could possibly be going on in your mind, and it will compel them to want to know more about you. However, there is a balance.

If you are too quiet, like a mouse, then the opposite effect will happen—they may think there’s something wrong with you, or that you’re extremely introverted. While there’s nothing wrong being an introvert, it does create a barrier between you and them.

Are you an introvert and suffer from anxiety? There are ways to cope.

Find your balance to be socially accepted.

If you have an outgoing—fun to be around, energetic and quirky personality, then it’s okay to be yourself. In fact, extroverted people are likeable as well.

However, being TOO extroverted can make people around you feel intimidated, which will make you seem unapproachable, and in the end, less likeable.

What’s the takeaway?

What matters most in regard to how much you talk is that you always make others feel noticed. Just be yourself, be caring, and always be thoughtful of others. There is a balance between talking too much, and not enough. Do some testing on your own, and see what works for you.

2. Becoming socially accepted by focusing on others

You have probably heard of ego. It’s this idea of self-importance we all have—that the world exists the way we see it because we are its center.

Having a strong ego can prevent you from being liked by others. This is especially true while in a conversation. If you always try to make everything in the conversation relate to you in some way, it can be very repulsive.

You should always try to minimize that ME-ME tone and focus on other people instead. This way, it will make you seem as if you are genuinely interested in them, which in turn will incline them to learn more about you.

How to be liked by others? Show interest.

You should try to show interest in people by noticing the little details about them. This involves listening closely to the things they say when you first meet each other. For instance, their middle or last name, their favorite hobbies, or anything that’s considered secondary information.

This is information that’s not essential for knowing who someone is, but necessary to building a personal relationship with them.

What’s the takeaway?

If you’re wondering how to be more likeable, always try remembering the little details about other people. It shows that you are attentive, aren’t just roleplaying and saying what people want to hear in most casual conversations, and that you genuinely care to listen to them.

3. Maintain proper Eye Contact

Psychologists have found in various studies that our body language plays an important role in determining the reactions of others in conversation.

For example, if you constantly look away when people speak to you, it can display that you are shy, which is a submissive trait. It’s not that you can’t get people to like you if you don’t have strong eye contact, it just makes it harder.

But, having TOO strong of eye contact is just as bad.

It can intimidate other people whose eye contact is weaker. However, overexerting your gaze can also be a sign that you use intense eye contact (staring) as a crutch for your inability to appropriate social interactions.

People who are good at picking up on behaviors will notice you doing this. And it can make it harder for them to like you.

Fortunately, there’s the 50/70 rule to help you with this!

The 50/70 rule is simple: you should maintain eye contact for 50% of the time while speaking and 70% of the time while listening. And once you establish eye contact, hold it for 4-5 seconds at a time, then slowly glance away and then return with your eye contact.

Doing this shows that you have interest in them, and that you are confident, which is a sign of a strong leader.

What’s the takeaway?

If you’re wondering how to be liked by others, try practicing your eye contact in social situations. You want to look into their eyes long enough to show confidence, but not too long that you come across as inappropriate.

4. Become popular by listening well

It’s easy to fake your engagement in a conversation, for instance, by nodding your head. When, in fact, you are everything but engaged.

You can get away with doing it, often, if you already know the person well. However, with strangers, or in a group setting, it can make you appear as if you fear having attention.

How-so? Because if you are only nodding, and not giving proper social cues of being actively engaged, it will make it seem like you are ready to disengage from the conversation at any moment.

Not listening to others in conversation makes it seem like you are bored with them.

Maybe your mind is always racing at a million miles per hour, and so you can’t help but to simply nod. It happens.

You should always try your best to wear a genuine smile, listen closely, and engage in conversation. Doing it not only puts you in better light, but it makes you seem interesting, because you will stand out in a sea of people who typically, never listen.

What’s the takeaway?

When someone likes you, it’s partly because you listen well, and party because they find you interesting enough to listen to you. Listening to others will prevent you from misinterpreting their actions and intentions, which ultimately, will prevent them from making irrational assumptions about you.

5. React In Conversation

What is one way to get people to NOT like you? Be a robot, and don’t show emotional reactions in conversation.

It’s so important that you have emotional engagement when you’re interacting with others. In fact, not doing this will be extremely disconnecting and it’s one of the reasons you are always misunderstood.

When you are conversing with someone, if you don’t react and ask questions to show your interest, you may as well not talk to them at all. Even in a situation where you aren’t required to talk, like letting a friend vent to you, you should always seem emotionally engaged.

Always be expressive in conversation.

This might be in the form of body language—a smile, a tear, the furrowing of your eyebrows, or even repeating with emphasis the last comment they made:

“Oh really? He said, THAT? Wow.”

However, try not to cut them off too much with jerky responses or unnecessary reactions. That too can be distracting, and can give the opposite effect of the attentiveness you are trying to display.

What’s the takeaway?

If you’re looking for ways on how to be liked more, look at how expressive you are in conversation. People love others who are expressive, and it’s no wonder, because expressive people never hold back.

6. How to be likeable – Be respectful

This one may seem obvious, but if you want people to like you, then you should try your best to respect them and their opinions.

You should also try to be respectful in general, to everyone and everything around you. Being respectful includes things such as:

• Not using swear words in public environments (like on social media). It’s really just bad taste.
• Not bullying people to show off in front of your friends.
• Not gossiping about coworkers who are unmotivated about their job and are underperforming.
• Not degrading others because of their looks, clothes, race, religion, nationality, disabilities, or other victimizing life circumstances.

Let’s not get into too much detail about why you should be respectful. Most people know they should always try to show respect; it’s simply a matter of choice.

Choose to be the better person, and life will reward you.

What’s the takeaway?

If you’re trying to figure out how to tell when someone likes you, check to see whether they respect you. For instance, if your boss is always stern and authoritative with you, it could be a sign they don’t like you. Gaining the respect of others is a mandatory part of being liked and popular.

7. Know Your Worth

One of the best things you can do if you’re trying to figure out how to get people to like you is to first, like yourself. Makes sense, right? If you don’t believe in yourself and follow your dreams, then why would anyone else?

People tend to gravitate toward figures they see as archetypal.

In other words, we are always searching in life to be close to those who are so exotic and magnetic, that they appear to represent the symbology of certain human conditions and attributes.

For instance, someone who is SO happy—SO something, that you couldn’t imagine this universe having ever existed without them. They make the world a better place.

In religion, archetypal figures are those like Jesus, Muhammad, Siddhartha Guatama, and basically, people who seem bigger than life itself. You might know one or two of these people in your lifetime.

There are actually 12 different types of archetypal figures:

1. Creator (Creates things of value)
2. Caregiver (Protects people)
3. Ruler (Yearns to control)
4. Jester (Wants to belong & enjoy life)
5. Regular guy/gal (Needs to connect with others)
6. Lover (Yearns for intimacy & sexual pleasure)
7. Hero (Courageous & needs to prove worth)
8. Outlaw (Needs revenge or a revolution)
9. Magician (Questions the universe)
10. Innocent (Wants independence to experience paradise)
11. Explorer (Self-reflection by exploring the world)
12. Sage (Seeks the truth)

People are usually born into their archetype, and some are naturally more profound than others. The key to knowing yours is to find your true passion.

What’s the takeaway?

When someone likes you, it’s usually because they see past your superficial and extrinsic attributes. It’s because they admire the type of person you are. People spend their entire lives waiting to stumble upon those who reflect the greater values that make us human.

8. Interesting people have interesting hobbies

There is nothing more fulfilling than spending your free time pursuing hobbies that make you happy. Just how being an archetypal individual can get people to follow you in life, having interesting hobbies has the same effect.

And it doesn’t matter what type of hobby you have, because no personal interest is better than anyone else’s. Sure, having a hobby of watching every single Lionel Messi game is more socially prestigious than, say, creating guitar pics from water bottles.

But that doesn’t mean one is better than the other. Why?

Because the value of a hobby is more intrinsic than extrinsic.

Meaning, hobbies are meant to give you personal joy, not to be liked by others. However, that doesn’t mean having one that is popular won’t help you out, socially.

For instance, if you’re wondering how to be popular at school, you might want to pick up a sport, an instrument, or become president of a club.

For example, consider your favorite musician. What is it that you love about them? Is it their fun lifestyle? Their hair? How about their million-dollar mansion?

It’s likely none of those things, specifically or individually.

You admire people because you crave the IDEA of them.

Dreaming of what we don’t have is an addiction. We are always trying to put ourselves into the shoes of those who have achieved what WE believe is success.

The idea is that if you pursue a hobby—any hobby, then those who are like-minded will look up to you.

People will want to be your friend, be like you, dress like you, look like you, and talk like you. If they see you are pursuing goals about the things you are passionate about, they’ll have no choice but to admire you.

What’s the takeaway?

How do you get people to like you? It’s easy! Get out there and pick up a new hobby! Master it and you will organically become the person that everyone wants to be around.

Conclusion

There you have it. Eight different tips on how you can be proactive to get people to like you. If you invigorate your life by fulfilling your dreams, being nice to others, and showing the world that you care, you can conquer just about anything.

Take these words of encouragement and make it one of your new years resolutions.

Good luck to you, my friends.

Here’s a quick recap of 8 Powerful Tips on How To Get People To Like you:

1. Talk less.
2. Focus on others.
3. Make eye contact.
4. Listen well.
5. React in conversation.
6. Be respectful.
7. Know your worth.
8. Have interesting hobbies.

That’s all folks! Thanks for reading.

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